Small But Mighty Murphy

Hello All!

This blog was created for Audrey's "Fan Club," who has followed her progress from her remarkable introduction to this world.  I have officially reached the maximum photo allowance on her CarePages, which is her hospital blog, and I know everyone is eager to see what a 16 pound 7 ounce Audrey looks like!  But first, I want to tell everyone about the page itself.  Throughout this entire experience, I've spent a lot of time on my knees, praying that our baby girl could remain with us.  There were many, many, many days when I felt as if I couldn't possibly meet the day...fallen, broken, afraid.  Yet, somehow, every day, God gave me the strength to meet the challenge.  I titled my blog "My Hope and Stay" because of a song that seemed to always play at the most inspired moments.  The song is by Chris Tomlin and the verse that meant so much to me is:

So teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus You're my hope and stay

It's been awhile since I've posted anything...been a little busy around here! ;-)  I just want to start out by saying thank you, again, for all of your prayers and wishes for our Audrey.  She is thriving; she continues to bloom!  The Murphy family truly is blessed.

There have been so many changes since my last CarePages post.  Audrey has been home just over two months now.  She is happy, healthy and growing.  She laughs and smiles.  She jabbers and coos. She watches and observes.  She loves looking at her brother...she loves being held.  She sleeps a LOT, but we know she has a lot of healing to do.  And she works so hard...we're so proud of her!  When she's awake, she loves to play in her jungle gym, rock in her swing and look at herself in the mirror. I don't blame her--I spend countless long moments, staring at her, marveling in the miracle that she is!  She is a very serious sort.  We have to work hard for her smiles!  Zooming through the air and zerberts seem to do the trick! She is particularly fond of the plastic parrot on her "Baby Einstein Exersaucer"--she tells it lots of stories.  She may possibly be a future Olympic swimmer--backstroke, as she especially loves kicking in her bathtub.  All seriousness is abandoned when the splashing commences!  She is sleeping through the night, for the most part.  She's a bit of a chuckle-head, making squeaks and peeps all night long.  Over the past 3-4 weeks, we began nursing 4 nights a week which gives us some rest.  I've figured out a way to put her formula on ice--literally--so that I don't have to wake up every few hours to refill her feeding pump. I've ventured out, just the two of us, three times--doctor, ER & Walgreens.  I'm eager for the day when our destinations include the park, bookstore and ice cream!  She has such a fabulous disposition.  Very serious, very observant.  It's almost as if she's making up for having a very dull visual environment for the first five months of her life.  Baby TV is like eye candy for her! :-) Her greatest gripe is the tape on her face.  Neither one of us enjoys that very much...I have to find my "Mommy of Steel" place within...she cries, gives me "the look," and generally let's me know just how much she hates it.

Her doctors are pleased with her progress.  We're just starting therapies such as occupational, physical and feeding therapies.  It's actually been a nice opportunity to go back to Cardon's Children's Hospital and sneak in a visit with the doctors and nurses and staff who became such a crucial part of our lives while Audrey was there.  Audrey is greeted like a celebrity--everyone coming out into the hall to say hello.  We feel sincerely welcomed; I know many parents have difficulty returning to that setting, but it's such an emotional "home" in a weird sort of way for me.  These are the people who helped our baby girl and gave her a chance!  During our last visit, Dr. Waterkotte commented about how Audrey is "our miracle," and how she's such a "shot in the arm" for the entire staff--showing them what they work toward each day.  As a parent, I couldn't be more grateful or in awe of that team and it means the world to me that they hold Audrey in their hearts in the way that they do. 

I guess the plan is to continue services there until we can find therapists to come to our house.  She works so hard at her therapy appointments, and each time she does something that I didn't realize she could do!  She seems to be just-about on track for her adjusted age--that's how old she's "supposed" to be.  I still can't believe that she's 8 months old!  But the goal is to work toward lessening the gap between her "adjusted age" and her "chronological age."  Probably the biggest obstacle in the near future is to get rid of her feeding tube....her GI doctor says that we can discuss the topic at our appointment on the 22nd.  Yay!  I've given her "tastes" of apples, carrots, peaches and grapes.  This involves rubbing these on her lips and allowing her to lick them just for the taste, as she's not allowed to take anything by mouth.  Her faces are precious!  Her favorite, by far, was the peach.  :-)  We went to the pulmonologist yesterday; Dr. Woodward still cannot give us a definite timeline for things like Audrey no longer needing to be on oxygen, but he makes us optimistic about Audrey just needing time.  I feel confident that we're past considerations like tracheostomies and g-tubes.  I don't know that she'll be an Olympic sprinter ;-) but her budding personality and proven determination will serve her well!  The little battles won certainly are momentous!  We have cut out 3 of her 12 medicines, and are working on a 4th from that list.  If she responds well to its absence, we actually get to cut out a 5th medicine which she takes to counteract the side effects of #4!?!   It is humbling how much this little girl endures!  I wrote the "experts" about a month ago regarding the results of the genetic testing.  I don't completely understand the implications of their response, but I think, all in all, that their opinion is good news and supports the concept of "just needing time."  It's easy to get caught up in the unknown.   I find myself thinking things like, "when she gets to this milestone, I'll feel better" or "once she starts doing 'X' I won't worry as much."  I often have to remind myself simply to enjoy the everyday moments with her. And then when I think about how fast five years with James Gerald has flown by...I quickly start to focus on as much smooching and squishing those cheeks as I can! :)

For now, I'll just end with a message to all to never lose faith in God's plan for you...it's not always your own, that's for sure, but always trust that He knows what you need.  Here are some pictures to recap just how precious our moments are and how abundant and miraculous life can be.  I hope you enjoy the pictures.

Taken on my BIRTHDAY 10/6/10

Just to remind you how teeny tiny I was.

Taken 11/18/10 @ 7 weeks

Holding hands with my bear.

Taken 6/10/11

Now look at us! I'm so much bigger than my bear!

Taken 3/11/11

Pizza Day!

Can you tell by my look that I'm not sure about going home?

Taken 4/23/11

In my Easter basket with my bunny



 Taken 4/23/11

In my beautiful Easter dress with Best Brother

 Taken 6/9/11

So beautiful.

Taken 6/9/11

Me & my chins...all clean after bath

Taken 6/10/11

Tummy-time with my favorite pop-up toy.